It doesn’t need to be said, but let’s shout it from the mountaintop just for grins: Living with a chronic illness can really suck! Not only do you have to struggle with the physical and mental burden directly related to your illness, but you also have to grapple with how your chronic illness impacts your career, your hobbies, and yes, your relationships. Too often we can fall prey to feelings of isolation, self-doubt, and the feeling that we’re a burden to those closest to us.
Chronic illness can make romantic relationships, friendships, and familial connections seem impossible. But guess what: it’s not! Let’s dive into how we can overcome these challenges, foster understanding between those we love, and build a support network that empowers those of us who live with chronic illnesses.
Feeling Like a Burden
One of the most common things I hear my clients who live with a chronic illness say is something like this:
“I feel like I’m dragging my spouse down.”
“I feel like I’m a bother to my family.”
“I feel like I let my friends down all the time.”
“I feel like a burden to everyone I love.”
It’s an awful feeling that can sometimes make my clients shrink into themselves and withdraw more and more. Feeling like a burden can make you want to distance yourself from your partner or even stop pursuing romantic relationships altogether. You may even feel that it’s better not to engage in any socialization at all; to protect your loved ones in some way from you. Ultimately, this isolates you, leaving you feeling lonely, sad, and misunderstood. You might think, How could anyone understand what I’m experiencing? There’s no way they could!
Feeling Like a Burden
One of the most common things I hear my clients who live with a chronic illness say is something like this:
“I feel like I’m dragging my spouse down.”
“I feel like I’m a bother to my family.”
“I feel like I let my friends down all the time.”
“I feel like a burden to everyone I love.”
It’s an awful feeling that can sometimes make my clients shrink into themselves and withdraw more and more. Feeling like a burden can make you want to distance yourself from your partner or even stop pursuing romantic relationships altogether. You may even feel that it’s better not to engage in any socialization at all; to protect your loved ones in some way from you. Ultimately, this isolates you, leaving you feeling lonely, sad, and misunderstood. You might think, How could anyone understand what I’m experiencing? There’s no way they could!
Let’s stop for a beat though and try to remember something very, very important.
Genuine relationships are built on love, empathy, and support.
That can be so hard to remember when we’re down on ourselves, but it’s so, so true. If we can begin to communicate openly and honestly with our loved ones about our fears and concerns, we can begin to alleviate these feelings. You’d be surprised how willing our friends, family, and loved ones are to stand by our sides and offer their unwavering support.
Breaking Barriers to Relationships
So how can we begin to put our foot back in the door? As someone who struggles with a chronic illness, we may have concerns about being misunderstood, accepted, or even having the energy to participate fully. First, we have to remember two things:
#1 You are not broken.
Our chronic illness does not define us. Yes, it is a part of us, but it is not all of us. We still have values and beliefs, experiences, and strengths that make us so much more. It’s important to remember that we are not alone in this experience. To help realize we are more capable than we think we are, we can:
- Seek out support groups or online communities where we can connect and share experiences with those who are facing similar challenges
- Gradually reintroduce ourselves to social activities, even something as small as going to the grocery on our own, or running small errands
- Start building a routine that gets us outside the home, such as meeting a close friend or family member for lunch or dinner
When opening ourselves up to the word, we also need to remember that:
#2 Honesty is the best policy.
When we approach potential partners or even just potential friends with honesty and openly communicate about our conditions and the implications of our illness, we can find those who see beyond the illness and embrace us for who we are. Those who truly care about us will be those that learn to understand our limitations and care about the journey we are making, no matter how slow or fast, or even meandering it might be!
Finding Mental Health Support for Chronic Illnesses
To continue to push ourselves out of the house and connect, it’s important to build coping techniques and a community that we can rely on. We can:
- Use positive affirmations to remind ourselves that our health does not define who we are
- Focus on self-care, like taking time to read a book, make a meal for ourselves, or otherwise engage in a hobby we enjoy
- Celebrate small victories
- Seek support from those who have experienced similar situations
- Reach out to mental health professionals who can provide guidance
Chronic Illness Therapist and Support in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Living with a chronic illness can make maintaining relationships a challenge but it does not have to define them. By making sure we keep an open communication, seek support, and gradually reintroduce ourselves to social activities, we can begin to strengthen our relationships and overcome feelings of isolation. Best of all we can find loved ones who truly care for and respect us!
Remember, you are more resilient than you may realize, and with time, patience, and support, you can navigate relationships while managing your health. Reach out to me today to learn more about how I can help you as a CBT therapist specializing in chronic illness.
You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas through telehealth counseling via online video and phone sessions. She also provides coaching services to clients throughout the country via online video and phone sessions. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.
