We are on our phones constantly. Any ping, zing, or vibration, and we can’t stop ourselves. We frequently check for updates, new stories, or new photos. Our phones drive our actions and can serve as quite a distraction. IPhone has the letter “i” attached to it for a reason. It’s like we (or “I” am) are bound to it!
Technology Can Be Addicting
It’s a siren call. You may be watching TV, doing work, and that need to check your phone creeps in. You can’t resist it. So what do you do? You pick up your phone, and the “doom scrolling” begins. The next thing you know, it’s been an hour, and you’re still on your phone. Time just slips by.
You tell yourself you’re not gonna go on your phone. But it’s easier said than done. You can’t seem to leave it alone. You always need your next fix.
Technology Can Be Addicting
It’s a siren call. You may be watching TV, doing work, and that need to check your phone creeps in. You can’t resist it. So what do you do? You pick up your phone, and the “doom scrolling” begins. The next thing you know, it’s been an hour, and you’re still on your phone. Time just slips by.
You tell yourself you’re not gonna go on your phone. But it’s easier said than done. You can’t seem to leave it alone. You always need your next fix.
The Social Media Curse
Do you remember the days before social media? Before cell phones even? How was your mood? How was your anxiety? As much as social media provides a distraction and entertainment, it’s also a huge source of negativity.
Think about how much we use social media to compare ourselves against others. You look at photos and posts and think, “Why aren’t I like that? Why isn’t my body as perfect as that? Why can’t I do that?” While most of these photos are filters and photoshop, you still can’t help but feel bad about yourself.
That feeling becomes addicting. As much as you hate seeing these posts, you crave to see more. You find yourself searching for more.
It’s like you can never get enough. It’s time-consuming. It makes you feel down right, well, sh*tty. So why do you do it? You might think it provides you connection or keeps you in the know. But really, it just creates false realities and has us thinking we are less than others.
How to Reduce Using Technology
Here’s a few quick tips:
- Don’t sleep next to your phone.
- Stop using technology one hour before bed.
- Put your phone in the backseat when driving.
- Have a no phone at dinner policy.
- Spend your first-hour awake tech-free.
- Use a paper to-do list.
- Get outdoors each day.
- Don’t use your phone when you’re watching TV.
How to Be More Present When You ARE Using Technology
1. Be purposeful with your focus.
When you use technology, you’re usually doing a million other things. Watching Netflix, eating a snack, texting with friends, scrolling through Instagram. You split your attention among all these things. By doing so, you aren’t really focused on anything in particular.
As a result of sharing your attention, you’re really experiencing a lack of connection. You aren’t fully present. Deep social, emotional connection and conversation can’t happen when your attention is divided in a million directions.
Being intentional with your focus means being completely present at the moment. If you’re watching a TV show, watch it completely. If you have to take a call, excuse yourself. Pause your TV if you have to text someone. Be intentional when using your technology.
2. Be intentional with your time away.
When you never disconnect from technology, you are negatively impacting your life. When we fail to disconnect, we fail to connect to the present moment. We are always online, and the time we spend thinking about using technology or actually using it takes up our time and energy.
When you aren’t actually using your device, you don’t need to think about who is liking your Instagram post or if your friend read your message yet. Focus on the situation at hand. Be fully present. When you step away, you are more clear. You aren’t clouded with the noise of technology. You will be more alert and focused.
3. Be deliberate with your relationships.
It may seem like you have a thousand friends. But are those relationships fostered and cared for? Do you genuinely feel connected to them?
We used to spend face time, not FaceTime, with friends. You didn’t know about every detail of their lives through social media. You actually had to pick up a phone and call them.
Genuine connection allows us to be vulnerable, open, and emotionally connected. Invest in real-time with your friends. If you want to grow your relationships, spend less time commenting on friends’ pictures and more time calling them or spending time with them.
4. Create boundaries for yourself.
Limiting your technology use can be very beneficial. You can create boundaries to using your phone. Before you pick up your phone, ask yourself why you’re doing it. Is it going to bring something positive to your life? Connection? Intellect? Your answer can help you decide whether or not using your phone would be productive and helpful or wasteful and detrimental.
The apps we use the most are the ones that make us the least happy. Before opening up Facebook, Instagram, or anything else you use, ask yourself if using that technology will make your day better or make you more comfortable. Is using your phone the best thing for you right now? If the answer is no, simply do something else.
By asking yourself these questions, you can shift your focus and attention to the things that actually bring you happiness. Showing up, being present, creating new things, for example, can bring you more joy than relying on your phone to do so.
Stepping back from technology can allow space for your best work. You can nourish more meaningful connections. You can do more with your time, and we can contribute to the world in more positive ways.
Tips for Using Technology More Effectively:
1.Challenge yourself not to respond to texts and emails immediately.
The second you get a text message, you probably jump to view it and respond. That sense of urgency is false. You don’t need to respond right away. Don’t become a slave to your phone. Respond when you feel like it, not because you feel you have to.
Most people expect you to respond ASAP. But you can manage their expectations of you by delaying your response. Answer your messages when the time is right for you. Use your phone at your convenience–unless, of course, it’s something urgent.
2. Put your technology away when you’re not using it.
When you aren’t using your phone, computer, or iPad away when you aren’t using it. Your space doesn’t have to be filled with devices. They just add excess clutter and remind you that you need to be somewhere you don’t.
You also don’t need to be holding your phone or have it in your pocket. Place it down. Come to it when you are ready.
3. When browsing or working online, close tabs you don’t need.
Your workspace doesn’t need clutter. You also don’t need the distractions to constant reminders of the things you need to do. You can focus your attention on the task at hand by closing out tabs you aren’t using. Only keep what you need on the screen. This will allow you to focus better and work more productively.
4. Improve your social skills.
How many times have you seen people sitting across from each other at a restaurant staring at their phones? They might as well be at home on their couch. You may criticize them, but the truth is you do it too.
To have better conversations and be present in your conversation, you need to put that phone down. Give whoever you are with your attention and respect. You’ve learned to make your phone a part of your everyday life. But it doesn’t have to get in the way of spending quality time with the people in your life.
Benefits From Using Less Technology
Detaching from technology can enhance your mental health. Not only can you stay present and improve your relationships, but you can also give yourself a break. Social media and constantly using your phone can provide you with anxiety. It can give you a false sense of urgency. It takes up your time and freedom. Stepping back from technology can elevate your mood and increase your productivity.
Therapy for Detaching From Your Devices
Learning to take a break from technology may be easier said than done. If you experience trouble with this and feel like you may be actually addicted to your phone or devices, therapy can help. You can learn the skills you need to put those phones down and focus on the things that truly matter to you. You may need to focus on issues of self-esteem and boundary setting. Whatever you may be dealing with in regards to your phone, counseling can set you free.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, known as CBT, is a great therapy model to help you learn these techniques and implement them into your life. CBT focuses on your thoughts. Your thoughts create your feelings which make your behaviors. Using CBT can shift your thinking and, ultimately, the behaviors that drive you to constantly be on your phone.
Therapy for Detaching From Your Devices
Learning to take a break from technology may be easier said than done. If you experience trouble with this and feel like you may be actually addicted to your phone or devices, therapy can help. You can learn the skills you need to put those phones down and focus on the things that truly matter to you. You may need to focus on issues of self-esteem and boundary setting. Whatever you may be dealing with in regards to your phone, counseling can set you free.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, known as CBT, is a great therapy model to help you learn these techniques and implement them into your life. CBT focuses on your thoughts. Your thoughts create your feelings which make your behaviors. Using CBT can shift your thinking and, ultimately, the behaviors that drive you to constantly be on your phone.
CBT in Ft Lauderdale
If you have anxiety due to technology or overusing it, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I can help you change your thoughts and behaviors around your using technology. My office is located in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I’m an expert in all things anxiety and self-esteem. Don’t hesitate to call me at Essence of Healing Counseling Services at 954-526-4006. Schedule your first free 20-minute phone consultation or book your first appointment.
Take Control of Technology, Don’t Let it Take Control of You!
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, located in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas in her office in downtown, and also through telehealth counseling via online video and phone sessions. She also provides coaching services to clients throughout the country via online video and phone sessions. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.
