Breaking up with someone isn’t easy. Most of us have been on the other side of it and know what it feels like. Your self-esteem and ego are bruised, you feel rejected and lonely, and you may experience sadness and depression. Putting someone else through those feelings makes it difficult for most to go through it. You may even experience anxiety which makes you put off doing so altogether.
How to Know When You Are Ready to Break up With Your Partner
It can take weeks, months, or years to find out that someone isn’t suitable for you. The startling conclusion isn’t always easy to swallow. But staying with the wrong person is far worse than being alone.
Being with someone who isn’t right for you can be frustrating. You may start to question yourself and your value. There are things your partner does that don’t align with your values. You have had countless talks and have been promised changes never made. Deep down, you know something is off.
Your partner may make you feel insecure. You may not feel like yourself when you are around them. They may actually cause you anxiety. If you picture yourself better off without them, then you know it’s time to end things.
How to Know When You Are Ready to Break up With Your Partner
It can take weeks, months, or years to find out that someone isn’t suitable for you. The startling conclusion isn’t always easy to swallow. But staying with the wrong person is far worse than being alone.
Being with someone who isn’t right for you can be frustrating. You may start to question yourself and your value. There are things your partner does that don’t align with your values. You have had countless talks and have been promised changes never made. Deep down, you know something is off.
Your partner may make you feel insecure. You may not feel like yourself when you are around them. They may actually cause you anxiety. If you picture yourself better off without them, then you know it’s time to end things.
Self-Esteem and Break-Ups
You may question your decision, flip-flop, and find ways around it. You may try to minimize the bad and romanticize the good. You fear being alone and never finding someone else. These are all issues of self-esteem.
When you have low self-esteem, you question your decision-making. You don’t entirely trust yourself. You may also think to yourself that you’re in the wrong, or the reasons that things aren’t working out are because of you.
You stay in the relationship longer than you should because you don’t have the confidence to be on your own. You don’t think highly of yourself to attract someone new into your life or to simply manage life on your own. Confrontation also scares you, so you want to avoid it altogether.
How to Increase Your Self-Esteem
Self-esteem and knowing your worth are vital in a break-up. You must know what you deserve and what you want to put up with. Having high self-esteem allows you to decide that you are worthy of a happy and healthy relationship and do not need to stay in something that brings you down.
Think to yourself of all the positive qualities that you possess. Maybe you are thoughtful and caring. You may be a great cook, a good communicator, or adventurous. Make a list of all your positive attributes. This can help you see your strengths as opposed to your weaknesses. You may also come up with a list that shows your individual positive traits, what you bring into the relationship, and how you are as a partner.
Positive affirmations are another way to increase self-esteem. The things you tell yourself have a significant impact on your mood and how you feel. Instead of telling yourself things like, “I will never find another partner” or “I hate being alone,” switch up your narrative. Feed yourself positive phrases such as, “I am worthy of love and happiness” and “I deserve healthy relationships.” Positive affirmations will create a shift in how you feel about yourself and your situation.
Avoiding the Break-up Increases Anxiety
You may experience anxiety when it comes to breaking up with someone. It may be a fear that you have. However, the more that you put this off, the more anxious you will feel. Avoiding actually reinforces your anxiety. By telling yourself that you can’t do it, you create a false belief. The event becomes scarier and scarier in your mind. You believe you can’t do it, and your anxiety takes over. The more you repeat this cycle, the worse your anxiety will get. If you face your fear head-on, while it may be uncomfortable at first, your anxiety will decrease once it’s done. It’s like ripping off a band-aid.
How to Lower Your Anxiety When It Comes to a Break-up
You may want to play the scenario out in your head. Practice what you are going to say. You may even have a list of points that you want to address. Try to stick to the essential things you want to convey. If you get side-tracked, you can have your list in front of you to keep you on track.
Try some deep breathing. Diaphragmatic breathing is a type of berthing proven to decrease anxiety. You can practice this day leading up to your conversation or immediately before.
Mediation is also a helpful tool to decrease your anxiety. It can help to center you. It can also help to not allow racing thoughts to overwhelm you. By practicing mediation, you can focus on the helpful thoughts that help you reach your goals rather than negative thoughts that keep you stuck.
CBT and Anxiety
Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is an evidence-based practice scientifically proven to lower anxiety. CBT focus on your thoughts or the narrative that plays in your head. It is known that your thoughts lead to your feelings, leading to your actions. If you target your thoughts and work to change them, you will change your mood and behaviors.
Counseling in Ft. Lauderdale
If you are struggling with a problematic relationship that may need to end, therapy may be the right route for you. I can help you change your negative thoughts about yourself and help you become more confident and assured in who you are. I can help you deal with all types of anxieties revolving around your relationship. My office is located in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Don’t hesitate to call me at Essence of Healing Counseling Services at 954-526-4006. Schedule your first free 20-minute phone consultation or book your first appointment.
You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, located in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas in her office in downtown. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.
