Many people, especially women, are never taught how to negotiate their salary when offered a new job. Fear and anxiety take over, and they never end up asking. That’s one of the reasons women make less money in the workplace than men. Based on the Pew Research Center analysis of median hourly earnings of both full- and part-time workers, in 2020 women earned 84% of what men earned. Considering this, it would take an extra 42 days of work for women to earn what men did in 2020.
Regardless of your sex, however, negotiating salary isn’t something that comes easily to anyone. Negotiating salary isn’t just about money. People who struggle with asking for a promotion or raise typically have low self-esteem and feel inadequate and unworthy. Read on to learn specific strategies and tips to help you in these areas.
Self-esteem and Knowing Your Worth
Your job performance does not reflect your self-worth. In fact, your self-worth never changes. It is something you were given at birth. It is, in fact, your birthright. Your self-esteem, however, does fluctuate and can vary depending on how well you did something or whether or not you had a good day.
Having high self-esteem isn’t the case for everybody.
Self-esteem and Knowing Your Worth
Your job performance does not reflect your self-worth. In fact, your self-worth never changes. It is something you were given at birth. It is, in fact, your birthright. Your self-esteem, however, does fluctuate and can vary depending on how well you did something or whether or not you had a good day.
Having high self-esteem isn’t the case for everybody.
Increasing Your Self-Esteem
Your self-esteem is created very early on. If you suffer from having low self-esteem, something happened that made you start to question yourself. Someone or something changed the way you think about yourself.
Your self-esteem is based on the way you perceive yourself. Your self-talk directly contributes to this. If you have low self-esteem, you are most likely telling yourself negative things about yourself. “I can’t do this,” “I never do anything right,” “I’m going to fail,” “I’m going to feel anxious.” These are all examples of negative self-talk.
A scientifically proven way to increase your self-esteem is positive affirmations. Wherever you are struggling in your life, work, relationships, physical appearance, or capability, you can change the way you approach these by changing your narrative or the way you talk to yourself.
If you are anxious about asking for a raise, try using positive affirmations that directly combat your negative self-talk in this area. Try things like “I am confident in asking for a raise,” “I can do this,” “I am capable,” “I can face adversity.” “I am enough.”
These are just examples; feel free to come up with your own. BY changing the way you talk to yourself, you can change how you feel, your mood, and how you approach difficulties such as asking for a raise. Even if the conversation doesn’t go as planned, positive affirmations can come in handy afterward. Saying things like “I did my best,” “I advocated for myself,” or “I am proud of myself” can help ease any hard feelings or doubt you may be experiencing.
Strategies to Overcome the Anxiety
Asking for a raise does not involve an assessment of your self-worth. You may need to raise your self confidence to get to a comfortable place to discuss with your boss, but the raise itself is based on objective fact. Take your own personal feelings about yourself out of the occasion. When you know your self-worth is not being judged, you can begin to relax a bit.
Deep breathing or diaphragmatic breathing is an essential tool in alleviating anxiety. Learning this tool will help you feel more relaxed and at ease. Although it may not be for everyone, meditation is another practice proven to reduce anxiety. Both of these practices encompass breathing control. Controlling your breath and focusing on it will help to decrease stress.
CBT and Anxiety
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is a therapeutic modality that is based on thoughts. It is scientifically proven that CBT helps treat things like depression and anxiety. Your thoughts create your feelings, which create your behaviors. Therefore, if you target your thoughts, you can change your feelings and actions.
Becoming aware of your self-talk is critical in healing feelings of anxiety. If you are experiencing anxiety, more often than not you are thinking negatively. Questioning your negative thoughts and ultimately replacing them is a critical component of CBT. Once you are aware of your negative thinking patterns, you will be well on your way to restructuring your thinking to become more positive. With more positive thinking, you can ultimately change your overall outlook on life.
Counseling in Ft. Lauderdale
Suppose you are struggling with anxiety and notice that you are avoiding specific conversations that may benefit you. In that case, therapy may be the right route for you. I can help you change your negative thoughts about yourself and your ability to be assertive.
My office is located in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I’m an expert in all things anxiety and self-esteem. Don’t hesitate to call me at Essence of Healing Counseling Services at 954-526-4006. Schedule your first free 20-minute phone consultation or book your first appointment.
You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, located in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas in her office in downtown. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.
