As professionals, parents, and friends, we’re all taught to help and support others. Those of us with the biggest hearts have heard this lesson and run with it, and the people we love have benefited the most. But sometimes, meeting our responsibilities and helping the ones we love and care about can become overwhelming.
Read this next sentence and really let it sink in. Self-care is not selfish!
How would you feel knowing your surgeon only got 4 hours of sleep last night? How about if you knew your couples therapist was being taken advantage of in their own relationship? Or what if you heard that your child’s teacher was blowing up on her own kids at home all the time?
We count on the people who love and support us to be well themselves. When things go wrong in their lives, we trust they can take the time to work on them, for themselves, but also for us. This shows that self-care is one of the least selfish things we can do because it directly benefits the people around us.
Read this next sentence and really let it sink in. Self-care is not selfish!
How would you feel knowing your surgeon only got 4 hours of sleep last night? How about if you knew your couples therapist was being taken advantage of in their own relationship? Or what if you heard that your child’s teacher was blowing up on her own kids at home all the time?
We count on the people who love and support us to be well themselves. When things go wrong in their lives, we trust they can take the time to work on them, for themselves, but also for us. This shows that self-care is one of the least selfish things we can do because it directly benefits the people around us.
If self-care is not on the calendar… it’s probably not happening.
The most important thing to do when implementing a plan for self-care is doing just that: make a plan! If you wanted to meet with your boss, or if you were setting up a brunch for your best friend’s birthday, would you set a time and a date? Of course!
You deserve to be prioritized also, and it starts with you. If you don’t recognize that the time, effort, and energy required to take care of you is important, then others may not either.
Whether you want to focus on physical, emotional, or spiritual self-care, be specific about your plan. How many times are you going to meditate, and on what days? At what time on Friday are you going for that amazing mani pedi you love? If you’re reconnecting with friends, don’t just leave plans pending – set the date and time with those bitches!
What happens without a plan?
Other things take precedent. Meetings, play-dates, cleaning the house, if we don’t promise and schedule time for ourselves, it gets pushed aside. Even if you do follow through once or twice, as soon as you start to feel a bit better, normal life takes over again.
Remember that trying to create a self-care routine might be a new habit for you. And the worst enemy of creating a new habit is…procrastination. Oh you that asshole, we all do. You find yourself saying, I will just do it tomorrow, I can start next week, or I’m too busy now. Until you slide down the slippery slope of putting your well being on the back burner.
Okay okay I put some self-love time on the calendar. So now what?
Suppose you’re serious about setting up a self-care routine, and you’re willing to schedule and prioritize it the way you would any other responsibility. In that case, you can start by first checking in with yourself. Do a self inventory to see what parts of your life you want to improve and need extra care.
In this inventory look at:
- Areas of your life that you have totally ignored recently that are important to you
- Areas in your life in which you have started feeling overwhelmed in
- Areas you have identified you need more of
- Areas that just need a little tweak and just a little more attention
Okay okay I put some self-love time on the calendar. So now what?
Suppose you’re serious about setting up a self-care routine, and you’re willing to schedule and prioritize it the way you would any other responsibility. In that case, you can start by first checking in with yourself. Do a self inventory to see what parts of your life you want to improve and need extra care.
In this inventory look at:
- Areas of your life that you have totally ignored recently that are important to you
- Areas in your life in which you have started feeling overwhelmed in
- Areas you have identified you need more of
- Areas that just need a little tweak and just a little more attention
Self-Esteem, Career, & Self-Care
Many people will look at their work-lives and realize, I could use a break. American society, known for its productivity, can sometimes push the message that we are only as good as the success we achieve in our careers.
If your self-esteem is wrapped up in how many meetings you can take or how late you can work, then work becomes your central focus. Being a hard worker is great, but it’s not everything.
Relationships, with others and with ourselves, mark the quality of our lives. Think about it: when it’s all said and done, and you’re in your rocking chair in the twilight of your life, will you look back and think…I should have done better on my performance reviews?
Lack of self-care can take a toll on our relationships.
What is self-care if not a reflection of the love we have for ourselves?
Suppose you’re looking to foster a better relationship with yourself through some much-needed self-care. In that case, you may start to contemplate your relationships with the people in your life.
Maybe you are the caretaker to an aging parent. Or a parent with an endless amount of responsibilities. Perhaps you’re in a romantic relationship with someone who’s struggling and requires a lot of help.
If this sound like you, then maybe relationships are the area in your life where you must implement self-care so that you don’t get led down the road to burnout. I commend you for all the love, caring and generosity you give to those around you. But, isn’t time you start giving some of that to yourself?
Anxiety around Money
For many working Americans, 2020 has been a bitch for the bottom-line. Businesses have closed, many people have lost their jobs, and entire industries have ground to a halt.
This has created a wave of financial anxiety and economic insecurity, which can severely impact our well-being. If money matters are getting you down, then you need some self-care ASAP.
Self-Care Staples
So you’ve done your self inventory, and realized that work, finances, relationships, or some other area of your life is either lacking or requiring too much from you. You’ve also pulled up your calendar, and you’re ready to pencil in your self-care routine so that you really stick to it this time. But what sort of self-care is right for you?
The following are a few self-care staples that will help you boost your self-esteem and practice some self-love.
How you can use arts & entertainment in your self-care routine.
One of the great things about the internet era we’re living in is that art has become widely available to all of us. Do you love a good book? Are you a movie buff? Maybe you’re into 90’s hip-hop, classical music, or contemporary art.
Art can be extremely cathartic, and it can reconnect us with our own humanity. You might be feeling overworked, or your kids are driving you crazy, or you’re stressed about pending bills. Art-centered self-care is an accessible and often free way of taking care of yourself.
Check out a local museum, set up a weekly movie night with the fam, or break out some of your favorite musician’s greatest hits. Maybe you love arts and crafts and the feeling of a glue gun in your hand brings you utter happiness. Reconnecting to whatever type of art relaxes or inspires you can create an opportunity for some serious emotional self-care.
How you can use arts & entertainment in your self-care routine.
One of the great things about the internet era we’re living in is that art has become widely available to all of us. Do you love a good book? Are you a movie buff? Maybe you’re into 90’s hip-hop, classical music, or contemporary art.
Art can be extremely cathartic, and it can reconnect us with our own humanity. You might be feeling overworked, or your kids are driving you crazy, or you’re stressed about pending bills. Art-centered self-care is an accessible and often free way of taking care of yourself.
Check out a local museum, set up a weekly movie night with the fam, or break out some of your favorite musician’s greatest hits. Maybe you love arts and crafts and the feeling of a glue gun in your hand brings you utter happiness. Reconnecting to whatever type of art relaxes or inspires you can create an opportunity for some serious emotional self-care.
Meditation belongs in everyone’s self-care first aid kit.
Thousands of years of Eastern philosophy and countless modern scientific studies have proven that meditation can be effective against stress, anxiety, and even depression.
If you’re a beginner, check out some of the apps like Calm or Insight Timer that provides many free guided meditations. There’s a reason the Calm meditation app was downloaded by a record-breaking 60 million people in 2020!
Meditation will help even the busiest minds center and relax. It will help you reconnect with yourself, your emotions and provide a space for inner peace that is such a critical component of any self-care routine.
Relationships, with others and with ourselves, mark the quality of our lives. Think about it: when it’s all said and done, and you’re in your rocking chair in the twilight of your life, will you look back and think…I should have done better on my performance reviews?
Exercise as a form of self-love, not just for getting a hot bod.
Sometimes when therapists tell clients to exercise, there’s an eye-roll usually followed by mental images of big-hair blondes in leg-warmers and highlighter-colored leotards.
Exercise doesn’t have to look like that though, it doesn’t even have to happen in a gym. The golden rule for implementing exercise in your life is, something is always better than nothing.
Commit to walking for 20 minutes after dinner every night. No membership fee needed for walking! Do you play a sport? Maybe you have access to an elliptical or to a swimming pool. The important thing is you’re getting the blood flowing and creating time for yourself to unwind. Cardio can be especially great for anxiety, stress, and depression as it releases a bunch of endorphins – and your waistline will thank you also!
Summon the squad to fortify your self-care.
If work, family, or finances are stressing you out, and you’ve decided you need some self-care, consider a girls’/boys’ night. Even if it’s just you and one other friend, grabbing a dinner, coffee, or a drink with someone whose company you enjoy can be a game-changer if you commit to doing it regularly. You can also plan a fun zoom party with some friends, or even a phone call. Planning ahead of time to will make you have something to look forward to you.
Using Nature in Self-Care
If you happen to be a local from South Florida struggling to implement a self-care routine, you’re
Regardless of which form of self-care you practice, or which benefit you’re pursuing, it’s important to keep in mind that self-care is a reflection of our self-esteem and the love we have for ourselves. If your parent, partner, or even child needed to know that you cared about them, you would probably jump in to help and show them love. Well, you deserve to feel that same kind of compassion for yourself, and you can demonstrate it by committing to self-care.
We have our beaches, which are beautiful year-round and free! Great for meditation, a girls’ afternoon or even a family outing. The sand, salt-water, and the sun can be extremely therapeutic.
If you enjoy nature, Everglades National Park is only 30 minutes away and can be a fun and interesting day trip, whether you’re a South Florida native or new in town.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy & Self-Care in Ft. Lauderdale
Implementing a self-care routine can feel overwhelming when you don’t know where to start or what to include in it. The important thing to start with is knowing is that you matter and taking care of your well being should be a priority.
Counseling can help you understand all the benefits of setting up a self-care routine and how to stick to it. Cognitive Behavioral therapy, or CBT, is especially effective for self-esteem, self-love, and learning self-care. It is a brief and solution focused approach to counseling to help you reach your goals. To learn more about Cognitive Behavioral therapy and how it can help you click here.
Let me help you build & maintain a self-care routine.
You deserve to achieve your goals and enjoy the life you want to live. Prioritizing your well being and feeling fulfilled. I can help you create a tailor fit self-care routine and how to stay motivated to maintain it for the long term. Let’s do this!
You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, located in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas in her office in downtown, and also through telehealth counseling via online video and phone sessions. She also provides coaching services to clients throughout the country via online video and phone sessions. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.
Essence of Healing Counseling
101 NE 3rd Avenue, Suite # 1500, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
Phone: (954) 526-4006
www.essenceofhealingcounseling.com
