IS HAVING A FEAR OF COMMITMENT HOLDING YOU BACK IN LIFE?
A fear of commitment is technically known as a phobia. When someone experiences a fear of commitment they are scared of being committed to any meaningful relationships, tasks, and responsibilities. Do you have a fear of commitment? Perhaps you have never been in a serious romantic relationship, or ever spent too long in a specific job. Something that most people who have a fear of commitment have in common is that they do not recognize that they have a fear. Often times they do not accept it or admit to it.
As a counselor and therapist I have worked with many clients that experience anxiety because of their fear of commitment. It is important to do some soul searching to see if you have a fear of commitment. If you do, it is imperative to realize that this fear is holding you back from truly connecting to others. This fear could be causing instability in your life because you might be jumping from one job to another or one relationship to another without ever planting deep meaningful roots. This fear is most likely also causing you anxiety and discomfort because you are always worried about being tied down.
Having a fear of commitment can be unhealthy and hinder your chances of reaching your full potential. The anxiety and fear that you experience from committing to something often creates difficulty in decision making. You most likely are afraid that if you choose something and stick to it the end result will be disastrous. Having a fear of commitment can make you stuck in your life and miss great opportunities that are presented in front of you.
As a therapist and counselor I have worked with clients on finding the root cause of their fear of commitment. It could have been caused by pain and suffering that was experienced during childhood, such as your parents separating, a death in the family, or abandonment by someone close to you. It could also be a learned behavior that you witnessed from others role modeling it to you as a child. Or perhaps you witnessed relationships that were very volatile and unhealthy and you are afraid that you might end up in one.
In order to conquer your fear of commitment you must face it. You can accomplish this by building your self confidence in your own judgment. Remind yourself of times that you made the right decision and you experienced success. Stop doubting yourself and start to trust yourself to pick the right path and make the right choices. Look around to those that you know that have committed themselves and are happy for examples of how good it can be. Recognize that in order to reap benefits you must take risks and take a leap of faith.
Another important thing to do is to change your negative thinking. Stop telling yourself that there are so many horrible things that can happen if you do commit to someone or something. Instead use positive thoughts and think about all the amazing things in life that you will gain if you start committing. Visualize yourself being happy and healthy in a committed and stable relationship. Envision how it will feel to love someone and have them love you back. Imagine the support and joy you will experience by being in meaningful relationships. Visualize yourself having a career that is fulfilling where you learn and grow over time. See yourself successfully climbing the ladder in your career because you have committed to working hard and sticking around.
ABOUT ESSENCE OF HEALING COUNSELING:
Roberta Alves is a therapist and counselor at the Essence of Healing Counseling in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. She is a Certified Anxiety Specialist and uses a scientific and evidence based type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Research has shown that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety. Roberta is truly passionate about the work she does and loves serving her clients in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas. If you want to learn the proven techniques to overcome your anxiety, schedule an appointment today.
