It’s the New Year and as a perfectionist, you always feel a little shiver of excitement at the thought of a fresh new start. New planner, new calendar, new goals, new you! But then the anxiety starts to leak in. What if you miss a day towards your goal? What if you exercised, but it wasn’t a full session? What if you didn’t have time to meal prep? What if you didn’t read enough that night? What if these steps toward your goal aren’t the right steps? What if it’s not enough?
Resolutions and goals can be daunting, especially for perfectionists who may not think they’re good enough. So, how can we celebrate the new year without letting perfectionism get the best of us?
A Little Bit More Self-Compassion and Joy
As a perfectionist, it may be extremely hard to consider what you’re doing (or just yourself) as enough. You may feel like you always need to try your best and always be on your A-game. If you’re not working towards something, you may feel inadequate or “lazy.”
To begin to break away from this toxic mindset, we need to show ourselves a little kindness. New Year resolutions shouldn’t be an end all be all to the rest of your year. It should be whatever you want it to be, plus a chance to have a little fun. Here are just a few tips to help you approach New Year goals or resolutions.
A Little Bit More Self-Compassion and Joy
As a perfectionist, it may be extremely hard to consider what you’re doing (or just yourself) as enough. You may feel like you always need to try your best and always be on your A-game. If you’re not working towards something, you may feel inadequate or “lazy.”
To begin to break away from this toxic mindset, we need to show ourselves a little kindness. New Year resolutions shouldn’t be an end all be all to the rest of your year. It should be whatever you want it to be, plus a chance to have a little fun. Here are just a few tips to help you approach New Year goals or resolutions.
Timing
Even though it’s the start of the calendar year, January might not be the best time to start new things. It’s colder, darker, and can sometimes be hectic, with the end of the holidays, and the start of school/work. January might be better suited for more introspective work, like gratitude or thinking about what you enjoy right here, right now. If you’re looking for a season to have a “fresh start,” consider spring, when the weather is a little warmer and the days are a little brighter.
Better yet, try not to look for a “fresh start.” Instead, take a break each season to remind yourself of your accomplishments and what you’re doing well at the moment.
Be Kinder to Yourself
I know, easier said than done, but it’s crucial. Instead of trying to improve or “change” yourself, reflect on what you love about yourself. This might be as simple as something like “I really love my hair” or “I love my morning routine.” Whatever it is, give yourself some credit for those things.
The parts that you don’t love about yourself? Try to accept where you are right now. Try some positive affirmations every morning. Something like, “I am enough as I am, right here, right now. I do not need to achieve or change anything to prove my worth.”
Try a Different Approach
This new year, instead of comparing where you are to others, or seeking to make resolutions for the “sake of making New Year’s resolutions,” take a moment to reflect on what you really want. If you’re really set on making goals and resolutions, explore those that bring you joy and stability. Instead of feeling obligated or inadequate, focus on doing things because you genuinely want to.
Focus on the Now
Again, this may be incredibly hard for perfectionists. Perfectionists are particularly good about planning for the future, organizing steps toward a goal, and tracking those steps. But sometimes they can forget to focus on enjoying the now. It’s okay to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. In fact, it’s healthy! Try to take a moment, each day, even if it’s only for five minutes, to practice gratitude and thank yourself for what you did that day. (Yes, even if it was something simple!)
Therapy for Perfectionists in Fort Lauderdale, FL
The New Year can be an opportunity for growth and self-reflection, but your perfectionism doesn’t need to drive it. Embrace imperfection and celebrate the journey (even if that feels a little “woo-hoo” to you.) If you’re looking to deepen your sense of self-acceptance and worth, therapy for perfectionism may be for you. I offer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a type of therapy that helps those who struggle with perfectionism to embrace a healthier mindset. You’d be surprised at how happy and fulfilled you can feel by letting things go! Are you curious about CBT therapy for perfectionism and live in Florida? Reach out today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
As we step into the new year, try to loosen the grip that perfectionism has on you and embrace the beauty of being imperfectly human. May this year be filled with self-compassion, joy, and a deeper sense of acceptance for you!
You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses solution-focused and evidence-based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety, improving self-esteem, and managing chronic illnesses. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas via online therapy. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, manage your chronic illness symptoms, and achieve your goals, call # to schedule an appointment today.
