As a therapist working with clients for years, I cannot tell you the amount of times Valentine’s Day, or the “dreaded V day” is a topic that comes up, especially if a client is single during the season. Anxiety runs high this time of year and self-esteem runs low-–many of my clients are afraid of being alone, feel “unlovable” or awkward. They think that they’re missing out and that there must be something wrong with them.
As you might imagine, many of my clients struggle with self-esteem and anxiety when they are single, which in turn greatly affects their dating lives. I help them overcome stress and self-doubt, so that they feel more comfortable and fulfilled within themselves–so, when (or if) they decide to date in the future, they have more positive results.
But let’s focus on the real point of this blog. Ultimately the person you should love the most on Valentine’s day is YOU! Yup, read that again.YOU. This is your opportunity to work on the two components that will help you on your journey to self-love: self-esteem and self-care. As cliché as the saying may be, it is true. If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell is anyone going to love you?
Engage in Self-Care
Treat yourself! That’s right. And don’t be stingy! After all, don’t you deserve it? (Psst, you do!) What puts a big smile on your face? What makes you feel special? What makes you feel like all is right in the world? Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you should be deprived of being spoiled on Valentine’s day.
Self-care is just that. Taking care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Maybe you struggle with thinking anything you do for yourself is selfish. Instead, understand that self-care is self-sustaining. It’s what uplifts you, fulfills you and makes you the best you!
Here’s a list of things you could do or gifts you could give yourself that many single people miss out on Valentine’s day. But not this year baby–this year you don’t have to!
You can:
- Get yourself a box of your favorite chocolates.
- Schedule a massage/or spa package.
- Grab a bottle of wine or champagne you only splurge on for special occasions.
- Pick up a bouquet of fresh, beautiful flowers.
- Buy something you’ve been eyeing online for a while that could you look forward to getting delivered.
Engage in Self-Care
Treat yourself! That’s right. And don’t be stingy! After all, don’t you deserve it? (Psst, you do!) What puts a big smile on your face? What makes you feel special? What makes you feel like all is right in the world? Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you should be deprived of being spoiled on Valentine’s day.
Self-care is just that. Taking care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Maybe you struggle with thinking anything you do for yourself is selfish. Instead, understand that self-care is self-sustaining. It’s what uplifts you, fulfills you and makes you the best you!
Here’s a list of things you could do or gifts you could give yourself that many single people miss out on Valentine’s day. But not this year baby–this year you don’t have to!
You can:
- Get yourself a box of your favorite chocolates.
- Schedule a massage/or spa package.
- Grab a bottle of wine or champagne you only splurge on for special occasions.
- Pick up a bouquet of fresh, beautiful flowers.
- Buy something you’ve been eyeing online for a while that could you look forward to getting delivered.
Activities That Can Help Self-Esteem
If you are feeling down about being single on Valentine’s day, I highly suggest NOT watching any romantic comedies. Why? Well, let’s think about it. They aren’t really realistic, are they? And they’re only going to reinforce any negative thinking you might have about being single.
Instead, watch movies that make you feel empowered like the badass that you are!
Some movie suggestions to inspire and uplift you:
- Erin Brockovich
- A League of their Own
- In Pursuit of Happyness
- Rudy
- Good Will Hunting
If you’re not feeling a movie on Valentine’s Day (or really any other day you’re looking for a little boost in self-esteem) try one of these fun activities.
- Dress up and go to your favorite restaurant. Who knows, you might meet some other singles to chat with. Or, order-in at home if you prefer.
- Make plans with your other single friends and have a night out on the town! Or stay in and have a pajama party and play fun board games.
- Take a bubble bath with scented candles and listen to a great audio book or podcast you have always wanted to get to but have been putting off.
Ultimately these movies and activities are meant to help you love yourself. But it’s important to keep in mind that not everyone’s ideas of self-care are the same. For some it might be going out and partying, but maybe for you it’s a quiet, peaceful night at home. Now matter what it is, it should be something that gives you joy and helps you realize that yes, you are worth it.
If you have a hard time giving yourself permission to take time for yourself, think of self-care as acts of kindness for yourself. Just as you might go out of your way to perform acts of kindness for others, you should go “out of your way” to perform acts of kindness for yourself.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Ft. Lauderdale
CBT is a solution focused therapy, a therapy that works on changing negative thoughts into positive, self-sustaining thoughts. It can help you overcome anxiety and low self-esteem and eventually help you truly love yourself. Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation, and learn more about how I can help you overcome self-doubt and that annoying feeling of unworthiness.
Lastly, remember that being alone doesn’t mean that you have to sit at home and wallow in a pity party (don’t do it, it’s not worth it!) Treat yourself to a fabulous date either out on the town or comfortably at home. It’s important to know that Valentine’s Day is about love. And the most important person you should love and spoil is yourself.
You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.
With therapy for anxiety, self esteem, or migraines, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to achieve the life you deserve. Believe me. You got this!
Therapy & Coaching at Essence of Healing Counseling Services
Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, located in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas in her office in downtown. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.
